Kathy (KAT) Zeagler's Page

I was born in Monroe, Louisiana Aug.10th 1952. I was raised by both my Father and Mother
and 1 older brother.We were raised Assembly of God and if the doors were open we were there.I love church when i was young church camp, Bible school and dreamed of growing up to be a youth minister
I was raised by the Fear God and Gods going to get you rules.
but as I got older I begain to rebel because if there were 6 wk revivels we went every night


I would like to say from the begain before I start that going agents the
law was bad enough, but when your raised a christan by a christain family and you know
right from wrong. Its like double conviction all the time in your head you are living in
hell and your mine is being ripped apart there is no rest , there is no peace, theres nothing
but the devil in your head and in your face at all times.

I would also like to say i have no excuse for my behavior because i did not come from a
broken home nor was i ever miss treated or abused so cant use that excuse i was just wrong and thank God for praying Moms

When I got to the age I didnt want to go anymore I would hold the button on my door so Mom
couldnt get in and they were not going to be late for church.Having a older brother helped
because I could hang around with him and at 13 I started smoking ,drinking and driving my
Brother and his friends around in his 66 mustang fastback which was cool or hanging off
the back of his bike till he taught me how to ride it my self.

I had a Aunt that would give us anything or let us get away with anything and supplied the
Funds.At 16 I got my 1 car and bike from my aunt plus my on private phone. I hated school so I quite.
and my brother would come get me and we did every and any thing that we were not suppose
to do.I hurt my mom and Dad very much but I was a daddy's girl so he would take up for me.

By the time I was 16 I had quite school and not to long after that I got pregneat with my
first child.I still wanted to hang with the biker crowd but the Father
of my child and I moved to
Califorina where we were married in Mexico.He attend school at night so my closes friends
were the Hells Angels who I hung with while he was working.They alway
made sure I was taken care of.They I think got a kickout of my southern speech and how bold a little 16 yr old could be. I never acter my age.We were 2 teens on the run from the small
town bull him trying to make some thing of his self and me just a hippy biker chick.what a pair we made.I just wanted away from the rules of my home life.


I gave birth to my first child 1 month after turning 17 named him Jeral and thought now I could be what my Mom alway hoped for me and
have a family and we moved back to Monroe LA and bought our 1st house. I was raised to
believe it was suppose to be for ever so I gave it my best. We went to church and did the
family thing. In 1970 I got pregneat with our 2nd child a boy which I carried 9 months
and he drowned in me at birth. Thinks started to change. I took pills and he drank and then the violance started.



In 1971 I got pregneat again with my Daughter Shanna she was born is 1972 but by then our marriage was just a peice of paper.He was abbusive to my son and me so I
hooked up with my nabor accross the street because she was going through the same thing as she had excess to all the drugs i wanted. and I couldnt take anymore of him. I tried to shoot him and kill him 1 night but my son stared crying so i went to check on him.
.

So in 1973 me and my friend loaded our cars and headed to Baton rouge LA where I thought
I was in heaven outlaw bikers drugs and dragging my children through all the hell I was in
So I met a good guy and we married I think it lasted 8 months that was husband #2 he was the rebound marriage that started a
long line of men.I started going to nursing school for the education and much more.

Thats when I moved to a small town out side of BR and got hooked up with the outlaws
clubs where I got my second bike and 3rd husband.Outlaw clubs, booze ,pills,meth and
anything else to keep the 24 hour aday party going.And yes my children were with me ,
being dragged through all the hell i was going through. So falling deeper and deeper
into that world I sent my children to live with their father he had strightend up and
remarried. Some may say I was a sorry mother but I choise to disagree a real mother
is willing to admit they are not fit and put their children in a safe inviroment.I was
Married to the President of the Banchee MC and we were nomad so we traveled and sold
drugs. Both our bikes were stolen and the state numbers had been changed but we really thought we were beyond the law and had a few in our back pockets didnt care if
we got caught cause they were going down with us.Thats when I met the needle it was a part
my of my life 17 yrs. my best friends were a 9 mm and drugs and noone
took the place of them.

Then I started trafficing drugs and Motorcycle parts from Baton rouge to Monroe,using
our bike shop as a front.well # 3 didnt last long either because in the shop 1 day
walked husband #4 he was the president of the Sons of Silances and with in a few days
I was loaded up and on my way to bigger and better things.First we got married by
the international church of bikers and had christians out in front of the house pickenting us because of all the noise and disgrace.
My wedding present was of course another Bike. (stolen) but i didnt care.
On Thanksgiving we made headlines for a all out gun battle and my poor
MOM had to watch it on TV. It was all over the state news.

Let me say this at this point in my story what My Mom and Dad taught me never left me
sometimes last at night i would cry because of the life i lived. I got to see my
children anytime I wanted so I decided to bring them back home with me. The only
transportation I had was a bike so thats how they went to school. They loved it at
first, but children need stilibity and thats something I did not have. So I sent and took
them to my MOM.I was a gun packing drug dealer that would kill you and not blink a eye.

If people owed me money understand this to me at the time was a large operation
if they owed me money I would break down their door at gun point and if they
didnt have my money,I would take something of equal value. Im sorry to say but
I even helt a child as caladeral. But the child new me and loved me. I was a sick
person.

Then of cource as usual another man came along and the new had wore of that 1 and
this 1 had better drugs. He robbed drug stores and had done 15 yrs in Angola for it.
But that was what I liked the rougher the better. But after a while I got tired of
being slapped around by these men I learned to fight back and I was like a bob cat.

Well he was full blood indian and mean as a snake and things got hot for us
so we moved to Monroe my home town. My aunt bought us a house and the kids
came home to live with me and I thought things were finely going to settle down what a joke.
We were out partying at the bar I worked at and when I when to pick up my children I
turned on the light and found my Father fooling with my daughter. If I would have had a
Gun on me I would have killed him.Noone wanted me to tell my Mom they knew it would kill her so I just didnt let my kids go there anymore. Then we moved back to BR where he got even more violent and beat me and raped me
(my 5th husband ) so the kids and I set up a plan for my mom to come get us but before she got there I was
in Jail for drugs.Got out of that pretty easy because who they really wanted was my x
and i was never a snitch.So we moved back to our little house the kids and I.I opened a antuque store made good money but delt drgs there to'.

I got several jobs bar tending so I would have a front to sell the drugs, shoot i even
bought a bar great front.For dealing and drinking.then yeap I met a awesome man that
loved me and my children but I choose the needle over him.One of my greatest regreets
because he loved me and my kids.I got a hook up in Hot springs ARK.for pot and meth. So I started my trafficting from there with thousands of dollars of drugs.
so you guessed it kicked him to the curb.Then i met husband # 6 He was a cultevator of pot a man but he got busted and that was over
after my on heart we had it all .but that lasted about 2 yrs.
I had got so much of a controll freak till I didnt need anyone and I was making
thousands a day with drugs.Out partying 1 night and you guessed it meet # 7 he was ok but he was a alcoholick like me so we phycilly faught all the time
because he knew i was incontrol and he knew not to mess with me but i kept him around for other reason

After 20 years of being chased by the law and i cosidered it a cat and mouse game I was sick as I was enjoyed their visits and herasment untill I
got busted.I was facing some hard time Mom bailed me out and i just when back to the
same old thing. but still through all those times my MOMs prayers and the things she
taught me rang in my ear. I found 2 new drugs crack and booze and they were bringing
me down becase i couldnt make money and spent a lot.By then #7 was gone I kicked him out. I went to court i was sentenced to 7yrs hard labor suspended due to a letter 1 of
the drug officers wrote about me.I became a bad alcoholic while trying to take care
of then my elderly MOM And Aunt. My children were grow and gone and wanted nothing to
do with me .Thank God they didnt follow their Moms steps. I became a total drunk even
on supervised probation. I didnt bath, eat, couldnt tell you what day it was just a
sicken drunk.I was 3 months from getting off probation when my daughter made a call to
my probation officer and said if I killed some one driving she would hold him accountable.

I lived behind my aunt and she knew all my dealing and helpped me by hiding the drugs and
money in her house. There was no limit to the money she gave me . She even bought me a
1964 Mustang convertible and a bottomless checking account.

I was married to a man then that took me for everything cause i was 2 drunk to know.
Oh during this time I went through 8 rehabs. didnt help, because I hadnt hit bottom.
when the probation officer came to get me I was in 1 of the rehabs.I prayed God do what you have to do with me i was no good for anybody
even I couldnt stand to look at mess so jail was Gods decision atleast thats what I thought couldnt run from him there and thats when I started I walk back to God I spent all
the holidays from thankgiving to new years in jail.My probation was revoked and i was
facing 7 yrs. I had time to reflect on my life because in there thats all you have is
time. I remember all the kids getting to go places when i was growing up and their parents
not caring but now i was greatfull i had a family that cared where I was when I was young.on 1-16-2002 i went before
the judge expecting 7 yrs but because of my moms prays i was revoked and sent home I
started drinking and dont remember anything from 1-16-02 untill 2-13-2002 it was a total black out.
I feel on my knees and wrote a poem called my Talk with Jesus and when to rehab. Gave my
life to the Lord, when to work at the rehab openned a recovery home got me a bike Thanks to my x sister-in-law which I loved more then my on Brother.Spent time trying to make amends to all the people I hurt my gift
from God was being able to spend the last 3 yrs of my MOMs life taking care of her and filling
her dream of being sold out to Jesus. She pasted away but I never will for get my daughter
at the funeral speaking and saying the greatest give my mom and my children ever got was
to see their Mom Clean and living the best life I could have ever had. I finlly had peace in my life and have been blessed to have meany
chances to share this story to thousands of people but the credit goes to 1 person My
savior and from the minuite my feet hit the floor untill i fall asleep we walk and talk
together and hes my closes friend. My children are grown now and will be 40 and 37 this
year at 1 time they wanted nothing to do with me but now they are my buddys and they love
there Mom. Shot I even live with my girl.People have ask why didnt i get mad at her when
she turned me in but how could I she loved her MOM and wanted her alive at any cost.
The night of 2-13-2002 I fell on my knees but this time I was serious and dieing physically,
and Siritually so, I alway felt I needed a man in my life and now I have lived alone for 5 yrs and have the most awesome man in my life,no hurt no pain nothing but Love and that man is Jesus. This is want I wrote, praying God would still listen and still Loved me.

My Talk with Jesus

Sometimes I sit here crying tell me what what im here for-

Sometimes things seams so useless,I just dont care anymore-

Sometimes I think about if I could have 1 wish today-

Tell me Lord did you make me or did I just turn out this way-

Sometimes i feel so usless, but I alway carry on-

Cause I know deep down in sidemy heartI will alway be your on-

You brought me in to this world facing upside down,then you
turned me over and planted my feet on solid ground-

You never really told me what I was suppose to do, all you
ever told me is the choice is up to you-

But no matter wether you stand or fall I will alway be there when call


So here I am Jesus Im calling out your name, I know im hot crazy
I just dont feel the same-

So if your not busy and you have time for me tell me that you Love
me and that I was ment to be-


Thank you Jesus


While I was in the recovery center I decided to write a letter to my
self it was time to move on I had no intentions of bringing(bulama Hightower) with me ,yes she had a alternet name and everyone new that
other sude of me , you can still ask my old friends to day about Bula
and they will tell you shes Dead thank God she was so evil and destrictive she came thorugh like a hurricane.The Letter I wrote I just found the other say plus 1 I had wrote to my daughter I gave it to
her a few days ago.This is my My letter to me

old friends to day about Bula
and they will tell you shes Dead thank God she was so evil and destrictive she came thorugh like a hurricane.The Letter I wrote I just found the other say plus 1 I had wrote to my daughter I gave it to
her a few days ago.This is my My letter to nds

How Dad never showed affection he never said the words I love you,because thats the way he was raised and I wanted to hear those words, and Mom was so loving and he never showed his feeling to her either. How you always ran to Nonie (my Aunt)or pitched a fit
everytime you wanted to go some where or wanted something new and you aunt alway took up for you and would let you come over there and all ways
bought you anything you wanted.Do you remember all the friends you and your Bro. had and yall were real popular and all the kids hung at your houseand yall lead them in to yall mischiff
when yall moved to the new house and started JR high there were even more friends, and they all wished they had your MOM for their Mom.How
they were jelious you had a mom that cared.you were jelious because they could go and do what ever they wanded and noone looked for them.
Also everytime mom trusted you to go somewhere you never when where they said you could go you alway did something wrong insteat.

How popular you were and you were a leader so you got your friends to do wrong also.

Then when you had your children how you drug them around, and had all those men in their lifes. Sometime I would have gave anything to be able to beat the crape out of you. You stripped me of my youth,my family,and children, for well over my more then 3/4 of my life.
All your partying and druging sure you made lots of money and you were well known but you never took time for me.Well its time for you to get out of my life.because of the way you ruined my life and I could have been someone if not for you I was smart and could have made something for my self for my children.

i want you to go away and leave me alone and dont ever come bad, because im taking over now and I sure dont need you.I dont want you to be any part of my life.So find a hole and crawl in it and stay. I will be much better off with you out of my life. almost all my life I have hated you
for all I let you put me through.I love me and for once reflecting back over my life for the firt time and all you put me thruough, I never want to see you again. I will be just fine from now on because I have got to know me and I like what i see.I hate all you did to me, and I will be just fine from here on out, I never want you coming around again and I made a New Friend that was with me all the time ,His name is Jesus and he will be handling my life from now on. Good by the old Kathy is Thank you L ord for loving me. I still ride to this day but now I ride For Jesus